Becoming Pro-Life: A New Path

I would like to take a moment to add one more piece of the puzzle of my becoming Pro-Life. This is a sensitive area for me. I lost my aunt, who had been a quadriplegic (paralyzed from the neck down) for 23 years. She became paralyze in 1989, at around 32 years old. She survived for 23 years as a quadriplegic. I lost her May 16, 2013. 

She was forced into hospice care against her will because an HMO/insurance did not want to continue to pay for her care. This the short version of the story, and you can read the full story here. She wanted to live. But she wasn't worth it to them. Money was more important than keeping her alive. That really taught me a lesson about the quality of life of individuals. It was a hard lesson to learn. She wanted to live. She was forced to die. They took away everything from here and were glad to take away what was left. The fact that she wanted to live destroyed my heart. She deserved to live. Money, the concept of another person determining that her "quality of life" was so bad that she should die, destroyed me. I will never forget.

On a lighter note, both for space and the fact that I might never stop crying if I delve deeper at this time, I want to talk to you about some of my Pro-Life friends that had previously been seen as "enemies". I told you about some already, so here are a few more:

Destiny ReNae Gonzalez: I cannot tell you how many times we fought tooth and nail when I was Pro-Choice. I can't. Our severe disdain for one another was palpable and mutual. We both got under one another's skin. She thought I was a troll with no actual opinion on abortion for some time. Still, and I'm not sure exactly when this happened, as I became not only more respectful to Pro-Lifers, but when I began calling myself Pro-Life, Destiny defended me when other Pro-Lifers didn't trust me or my intentions or views. There was a thread in which a Pro-Life woman was "warning' others that I was not, in fact, Pro-Life. I remember tearing up after seeing her defend me, willing to open herself up to the risk that I very well could have been a troll. I wasn't though, and Destiny defended me, along with GT and others. 

GT: I remember being in a private debate forum with GT, along with many others. In this group, Pro-Lifers would get bashed for their views so often, and this is one of the groups in which I did nothing or very little. I was originally intimidated by her. I can't really explain why. Maybe it was the fact that she refused to lose her cool? Not sure! Still, I dare say we have become best friends. She was friends with me when I was Pro-Choice, and she was there as I molded and changed my beliefs. She supported me when I was being attacked by former "friends", and she supported me when I lost my aunt. 

FA: Along the lines of GT, I was actually fascinated by the fact that FA (and GT) were Pro-Life Liberals. I'd always thought of myself as liberal (when I took those quizzes about political positions, I always got either "Liberal" or "Centrist."). Part of the reason I was afraid of associating myself with the Pro-Life movement was that I was still under the impression that Pro-Life = Conservative by default. I was Liberal, and I didn't see many Pro-Life liberals. FA is, though, as are other of my Pro-Life friends. I cannot tell you how thankful I was to find Pro-Lifers that shared a general lean with me. I felt like more of a part of a group. I didn't feel so alienated. That really helped me in my journey to becoming Pro-Life. I came to learn through all of my Pro-Life friends that the Pro-Lifers are a much more diverse group than I'd originally thought!

GS: I met GS during my "Compassionate Pro-Choice" phase. I was so much open to discussion at that time, and his initial impression reflected that. He tells me that he thought I was "full of ideas", "enthusiastic", and "open-minded." I realize now that there were a number of people that I met during my "Compassionate Pro-Choice" phase that describe their thought of me as open-minded. I'm kind of glad they didn't see me before! 

AR: Oh, I hated AR at first. I thought she was ignorant, hateful, everything that a stereotypical Pro-Lifer was. After getting to know her, I cannot tell you how wrong I was. During the bashing by my former "friends", AR, whom I was still worrying about, thinking she probably hated me or something for my past, stepped up and sent me a message of support, telling me that I could call her if I felt the need. She reached out to me, even though I'd been friends with, and even participated with, in the past, people bashing her for being Pro-Life. Destiny and AR have taught me that even though I had been hateful, that I could be forgiven for my past actions and statements. I am so thankful.

AB: Here's another woman that surprised me. She was very civil, even to Pro-Choicers. I don't think I've seen her lose her cool. She even helped me to admin on a page that was devoted to finding common ground between the two sides. I was iffy at first about trusting her to help with the page. I still leaned Pro-Choice and still retained a general distrust of Pro-Lifers. But I gave her a chance, and she was an excellent admin. Very civil. Very compassionate. Far from the stereotypical Pro-Lifer.

GGO: I didn't meet GGO online. He was a friend of a friend. I didn't know about his views on abortion until later. Still, I want to say that I was surprised to find out that he was Pro-Life. I'm not sure why that surprised me. He admitted to me that he'd never known someone who had switched from one side to the other in regards to the abortion debate, and that it was a real shock that I had changed. I'm glad that I was able to show him that people can and do change, even if and when it doesn't seem likely. 

AL: AL is sweet, inquisitive, very nice. She started a discussion page because she wanted to see people talk about political issues. She hated that people hated each other for being on the opposing side. She was convinced that it was possible for us to come together and actually discuss issues like adults. She was one of the people that inspired me to discuss issues civilly, to try to build a bridge of dialogue with others, even if we disagreed.

This list is by NO MEANS complete. I continue to meet wonderful Pro-Lifers and Pro-Choicers that have compassionate hearts and brilliant minds. It is mind-boggling. When I started debating abortion, I didn't think I'd ever see the day that I got along with Pro-Lifers. When I got along with Pro-Lifers, I didn't think that I would ever see the day that I became Pro-Life. Now that I am Pro-Life, I cannot wait to see where my journey takes me. I am, and will forever be, thankful that I have had so many supporters help me take my first steps. 

And the rest, as they say, was history.